Sleepy Bride

Normal people go on diets and star rubbing De La Mere into their skin like no one's business and they take hydration RATHER seriously. No me. I have basically stopped showering, an extra half hour of sleep will always beat a shower. My legs are insanely hairy, I am breaking out and I am subsisting primarily on Pop-Tarts and salt and vinegar chips. Why am I blogging if I am too busy/sleepy to shower? Because I can do it from bed, if I could shower from bed, I might do that.

In the meantime, I made this peg doll Hannah. It's going to be on a mini Scottish fruit cake. I KNOW. I have a half made peg doll David but suits are a mite harder to make than wedding dresses for peg people.

Dumb dumb dumb Hannah

It's almost one am on Saturday, in nine hours I am suppose to be at a bridal salon an hour away, I do not have the number or address of this bridal salon. My wedding co-ordinator does. She is asleep. Like normal people. This salon just moved so the google doesn't have their info. I should have been more together about this. At least I remembered to put my Spanx in my overnight bag before heading to my parents' summer house to spend the night? Eff.

I Wish...

That it were July 19th and that the wedding has all through and done with and that David and I were here. New job is a little scary and I wish we were done with this phase.

Whelmed.

Overwhelmed with the expense of this and the things I have to get done, under under underwhelmed at the options. These are the chairs I have to contend with. I was going to have white table cloths and make the napkins but isn't that a lot of white. Like a huge scary amount of white? I'm also kind of sick of it too. I might have reached my own form of wedding zen which is more like wedding give-up-it-doesn't-matter-what-gets-done-gets-done-and-what-doesn't-doesn't-matter. That is just this morning. I'm sure tomorrow I'll be back to caring.

P.S. There is a picture here that looks like maybe Meg had those chairs. I'm going to pretend that she did. Yep. Not because I want to have what everyone else had, I just want to see that they can turn out pretty.

Paper-effing-work

So I am Catholic. We have sacrements. Each one has paperwork. Baptism earns you a really shiny seal on your certificate, ditto first communion and confirmation. When you get married you need to hand all three over (our priest says I don't NEED communion but he'd like it) to prove that you are a member in good standing of the Holy Roman Shenanigan. I recieved all four sacrements thus far in different churches but no worries, they keep their certificates on file. I called Holy Cross in Dewitt NY and they told me that I recieved my first communion on 5.1.1994 and got my address to send it out pronto. I called St. Mark's in Greencastle PA and they sorted my confirmation paperwork pronto. When I was baptised my dad was still in law school and I was dipped by a chaplain. The University of Chicago had a Catholic Chaplaincy in 1986. Apparently they don't anymore. My baptismal certificate may be lost in Chicagoland. Do we think Fr. Collin will mind? Also, do we think he'll mind if I spell it with one L? I like it better that way.

image of U of C via U of C website. No link. Google it.

Edit: They still have Calvert House. God help you if you google "catholic chaplain, university of chicago". Google will fail you.

This wedding planning shenanigan is stressful. Like really stressful. I know some people find the experience blissful and fun and I know some people would tell me that it is stressful because I am planning on pouring a bazillion candles a la Peonies or because my little sister (the fantastic artiste) is drawing our save the dates. It's stressful for a lot more real reasons than this. Right now David and I are living in his parents basement which (even with the best in-laws) is stressful; we came upstairs yesterday to find David's mother bleaching my teapot and throwing the tea-cosy in the washer. Even negotiating going from the basement to the shower is stressful. I am also unemployed and have been since June. That's a very very very long time to not have a job/money. We are trying to plan a wedding in some intense unemployed money-less shenanigans. In January my dad lost his job, both our cars broke down and my car now needs a timing belt. Trying to sort out a rehearsal dinner is becoming a major source of stress, as is catering. So whine. This is stressful. And scary.

Wedding Website, Part Doux (get it?)

I have a cousin who is getting married too. He is a second cousin really. He is also getting married this year. In a city about an hour and a half from my little country wedding. He and I have never met (I am working from the assumption that facebook friend-age doesn't count) so he is not coming to my wedding and I am not going to his. His parent is coming to mine and my parents are going to his. I just saw his wedding website. He is registered at four different places. Is that okay? Should I put this information on my wedding website? Should I put bridesmaid dress information on my wedding website? I am inclined to think not. I don't know. I think I really need a job. Like really really really need a job.

Excuse Me

Bridal Magazines suck. Not a little. A lot. Not a little. I know we are all always talking about how much they suck but seriously. They. SUCK. They aren't just bad self esteem machines (also: Dear J. Crew and your sample size eights, eff the eff off) but they are full of stupid things, and ugly bikinis that say 'Just Married' on the bum and articles about Fun and Flirty Fuchsia weddings (Not all weddings need to be formal and sophisticated! Embrace your flirty personality! Have a Lingerie Shower!! and SEQUINS on everything) and they seem to think that David should wear an effing white tux (also: Tuxes make me sick a little bit) and I think anyone would be SHOCKED by the tulle. Seriously. (please note that I like ruffles a lot, I just bought a ruffly shenanigan of a skirt for which I assume I will be judged harshly, but swags of tulle in churches make me ill). No wonder we are all constantly referencing Martha, because she is the only one who doesn't tell us to drape tulle or dress our biddies in SHINY SHINY SHINY hot pink with rhinestones.

Here is my real conundrum: I'm kind of quirky. I bought a tutu, I'm having my reception in a barn, and I really want my westie in some of my wedding pictures (she's crazy cute) but I really also want to have invitations Amy Vanderbilt would fully support and I want to say EXACTLY the Roman Catholic nuptial vows said by my great grandparents in NY in 1890. I want flowers and something blue and I would really like to wear my grandma's veil. The Blogs are really not sufficient. ESB is awesome but she's not the whole picture I'm looking for. So please traditional wedding media, stop sucking. Or suck a little less? Martha Stewart weddings doesn't come out often enough.