I Doux

Wedding Blog, Sans Wedding

2011-05-03T06:37:00.000-07:00

Isn't it weird to have a wedding blog post wedding? Unless you're Meg of course. What am I suppose to talk about since I don't have the arm loads of tissue paper and the pouring of candles and the pinning of flowers into my hair? Does anyone want to hear about painting my bathroom (grey) or about brunch this weekend (the hollandaise was not tart enough, too thick) or about my best-friend-from-high-school possibly moving to Durham? Or my new job (handling all graphic design, marketing and publicity for Campus Recreation, Health and Wellness and Physical Education at the douchiest school in these United States)? Or about how sick I think the reveling in the streets and "foot in your ass"ing around is right now? I'm considering returning to our regularly scheduled programing over at Doux with flouncy skirts and making mobiles.

Somehow the marriagey stuff post wedding seems to personal to blog about.

Returned

2011-04-06T07:33:00.000-07:00

I've been away because I've been sick. Really not good sick. Spending our grocery money on accupuncture sick. Pill popping sick. Hiding hiding hiding sick. Not very good at staying awake past 7:30 sick, not very good at getting up before 7:30 sick. Dear Husband, please make dinner and fend for yourself sick. Bad bad spring sick. But the weather is getting a wee bit warmer and my accupuncture seems to be working a bit and I've been home and my mother bought me sturdy, clompy clogs for clomping and walking. And I've seen a new nephew and I've snuggled with one of my sisters for one whole week. So I'm back. Slightly the worse for wear. Anyone still out there?

This tiny nephew person recently met

Home recently visited, complete with ponies munching hay and the barn of wedding fame

Valentine

2011-02-14T13:29:00.000-08:00

Valentine

by Carol Ann Duffy

Not a red rose or a satin heart.

I give you an onion.

It is a moon wrapped in brown paper.

It promises light

like the careful undressing of love.

Here.

It will blind you with tears

like a lover.

It will make your reflection

a wobbling photo of grief.

I am trying to be truthful.

Not a cute card or a kissogram.

I give you an onion.

Its fierce kiss will stay on your lips,

possessive and faithful

as we are,

for as long as we are.

Take it.

Its platinum loops shrink to a wedding-ring,

if you like.

Lethal.

Its scent will cling to your fingers,

cling to your knife.

We are having a small Valentines, a hiding Valentines day. I am sick and I am drinking boiled herbs and trying to stay awake. Onions seem appropriate for today.

Having a Coke with You

2011-02-12T12:00:00.000-08:00

Frank O'Hara reading Having a Coke with You.

The Gift

2011-02-11T13:14:00.000-08:00

Our
Union is like this:

You feel cold
So I reach for a blanket to cover
Our shivering feet.

A hunger comes into your body
So I run to my garden
And start digging potatoes.

You ask for a few words of comfort and guidance,
I quickly kneel at your side offering you
This whole book-
As a gift.

You ache with loneliness one night
So much you weep

And I say,
Here's a rope,
Tie it around me,

I will be your companion
For life.

-Hafiz

Picture of the party David and I met at, it looks so sunny compared to now

Not Changing

2011-01-28T13:38:00.000-08:00

The Name Change issue has been all over this week, eastsidebride, Souris Marriage, A Practical Wedding. We're all thinking about it. It's one of those wedding/marriage issues that doesn't really ever seem to be resolved (some people change their name and then change it back, see APW) and until you have children there is that up in the air as well. I, as I've been kind of loud about, didn't change my name. Couldn't FATHOM changing my name. It was never on the table. I understand why people do. My Oldest and Best Friend didn't think twice about it, it's what she wanted to do. My college roommate (not Mary) changed her name because it was important for her to have a united name with her husband and mostly her daughter. For me, changing my last name seemed as alien as changing my first. Ages ago Meg said something about name changing being so emotional because it's an issue where inequality is still the norm and she's right. And that's really really wrong.

I grew up in a family with two last names, June Momslastname and Terry Dads. I was named Hannah May Momslastname Dads. I like the idea of sharing a name with my mother so I'm been Hannah Momslastname-Dads. My sisters and brother generally just go by Dads. Which is cool. I never minded the two last names. We're still a family, Christmas cards are addressed to The Momslastname-Dads Family. My mom said she never minded not having the same last name as her children. All is well.

Over and over again in the conversation women talk about the desire to have the same name as their children. I understand that desire and share it. I'm not as chill as my mom. I want my kids to have the same name as me too; I want it to be clear to all involved that their mine and I'm theirs and we are in the same family. No one has discussed the possibility that children be given their mother's name and that their father be the odd one out. Is a man's right to have his children bear his name really that sacred? I feel like it isn't. No more so than my right to share a name with my children. Fortunately for me, David doesn't have the same intense feelings I have about names (for serious, I cried when I got that stupid Christmas card addressed to Hannah and David Davidsname from my sister in law). Dave's sisters have different last names and he feels no less related to them, feels no loss at the change of name. So our children will most likely have my name. Not both of my names, carrying on both grandparent's last name from one side seems a bit intense. But Dad's name. Because that's the one I share with my siblings.

I would love to have a united family name. I would love for David to take to take my name and for us to be clearly delineated as a family in that way but I can't do it at the expense of my name. It's just not on the table. David has considered changing his but decided that it would offend his family and be misconstrued by his friends. Which I understand. So I'm not pushing the issue. He's as entitled to his name as I am to mine. No more so though. And we are equally entitled to name our children after our families. So we'll see. I'll let you know how it goes.

At North Farm

2011-01-20T16:44:00.000-08:00

Domesticity

In the May of 2009 I read Isabel Gillies Happens Every Day and was blown away by a section of At North Farm she quoted:

Somwhere someone is traveling furiously toward you.
At incredible speed, traveling day and night,
Through blizzards and desert heat, across torrents, through narrow passes.
But will je know where to find you,
Recognize you when he sees you,
Give you the thing he has for you?

It made my toes tingly. I don't really know what it means but that first line, the line about someone traveling furiously toward you, that really rocked my world. I loved it. I sort of believed it. That someone was traveling furiously toward me. And then in June I met David, then he went to Europe for the summer. And in August we talked on his porch all night long and a week after that we basically new we were going to marry each other (but we didn't talk about it to each other yet) and then in December we were talking about it. And in January we were engaged already and then in July we were married. After 11 months of being together. And now, January of 2011, we live in Durham with our two dogs and a cat. Wow.

And it's working really well.

I don't normally tell people that we knew each other for 11 months before we were married and five months before we got engaged because, ya know, it's nuts. Completely nuts. But ya know.

New Photos!

2011-01-19T12:56:00.000-08:00

Six months after our wedding, our photographer updated his website and there are some wedding photos I haven't seen. I'm esspecially digging the one of my littlest 14 year old sister drunker than drunk swaying to some awesome tunes while older and wiser adults condone her behavior. Dear Dad, At least she has a water bottle?

The "complete" wedding, to quote Shaun, is here.

Kilty Cake Topper

2011-01-18T16:48:00.000-08:00

I made Tilly and Ben's cake topper of pegs. Very much like mine, this one in a kilt though, this one on a cake of cheese. I took pictures but they are on my sister's friend's camera so the facebook ones will suffice. Want one? I'll make you one!

Six Months

2011-01-17T14:29:00.000-08:00

We've been married for six months. To celebrate we walked to Whole Foods to get chicken for curry and I've had three pots of tea. Lots of quiet. Looking at the photos everything just looks like sunshine. I did my own flowers, all my own stationary, set my own tables but I'm so glad we shelled out for a photographer. The photos are so evocative in a way nothing else is.

It's been a good six months.

Waltzing Matilda

2011-01-17T08:37:00.000-08:00

Ardtornish House in the daylight

The Holospeced congregation, that blond befeathered head in the middle front is me.

So my photos of Tilly and Ben's gorgeous wedding are a bit of a blur fest (low lighting and crap camera be damned). There were holospex that made each point of light a heart and all the guests wore them and sang Love Me Tender, there was a five tier wedding cake made not of cake but of cheese with loads of oak cakes and chutney made by my aunt (okay, the mother of the bride) and the caleigh band got too drunk to come play all except the accordion who did a bang up job all on his own despite his apparent intoxication. We danced and sang and drank and drank and ate loads of cheese and chutney and when the night went on a bit long a few of the bridesmaids changed into our boots and the night ended with us sitting on the couch posing for an Italian photographer named Simone. Glams all round. Gorgeous.

Tilly let me decorate her cake which felt a big reckless, Ben and she cut the cake with a sword of her dad's

The aforementioned dad swirling our cousin's wife around

David and I pretending to be in Brideshead Revisited for the sake of an Italian photog.

I think we were on different pages as to what that means.

Resolutions

2011-01-13T11:46:00.000-08:00

I am going to blog more. And learn the guitar. And wear slippers everyday so I don't complain about how cold my feet are. And knit. And wear moisturizer. Mostly continue to eat cake and sleep a lot. Ya know. New years.

Scottish Wedding

2011-01-12T08:30:00.000-08:00

Things have been very quiet here while I was off on the West Coast of Scotland for Tilly's wedding. I decorated a cake, I drank to excess and wore feathers and hugged the bride and groom a lot. I listened to Waltzing Matilda about 90 times (Scottish cousin Matilda marries Australian Ben so WM seemed the thing) and spent loads of time in front of fires in layers of warmth with cousins and second cousins and first cousins once removed. It was glorious. I'm still at my parents until Friday so posting will not resume in full force until then. Photos will follow. In the mean time here are some photos of Ardtornish (taken by my gorgeous second cousin Julia). If anyone is wondering where in the frozen highlands they might like to get married in January Ardtornish is the place.

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year

2010-12-31T08:10:00.001-08:00

Picture 0f stockings of all siblings and now David at my parents house,

nicked off of Facebook as I don't have my camera or computer

We are at my Mum and Dad's for Christmas, New Years and the lead up to our week in the Highlands. We bought thermal long underwear and wool socks and pullovers and we drank spiced wine and we cuddled puppies and kittens (BOTH!!) and ate turkey and stuffing and mince pie and all four of my parent's daughters cuddled up in a bed and watched Law and Order SVU for hours. Tonight we're off to go to my cousins and uncle and aunt to greet 2011 and eat goose and then on Wednesday, Mum, David, Sister Tres and I are flying to Edinburg for my gorgeous cousin's gorgeous wedding with a gorgeous cake-topper made of pegs by me. Photos will abound. I'll be missing for a bit. I hope your Christmas was the most wonderful and that you get good and zozzled tonight and that 2011 starts with a hangover and gets better everyday. xoxox

If You Need Me

2010-12-01T13:34:00.001-08:00

I will be over at Doux, unless something explicitly wedding related pops up.

Pop on over and visit me and Mary (seen above using fashion tape to try to keep me from flashing my tits to the entire church)

Home Again, Home Again

2010-11-29T11:20:00.000-08:00

Back from Thanksgiving, done with work, eating Sunbelt Granola (the ghettoist of ghetto granola) by the handful from it's alluring box and thinking about all those Christmas cards on the desk waiting to be written (being married seems to indicate to me that I should actually send Christmas cards like an adult) and the flat that needs to be cleaned. Snugged on the couch with Susie and the Cat sick as hell. It's very nice to have a husband to get ginger ale and crackers. Very nice.

Thanks. Given.

2010-11-22T20:18:00.000-08:00

Cliche:

I am thankful that Susie is still alive.

I am thankful my mother doesn't have a job so she can answer my texts about Susie's health and how to fix watery split pea soup.

I am thankful for sweatpants, not just on Thanksgiving but every day (sidenote: in college my roommate and I would enter our room and immediately shed our trousers for less constricting clothing, sweatpants featured prominently. F*ck pants was our moto. Sometimes still is).

I am thankful for fried potatoes I will be enjoying in sweat pants with Best-Friend-from-High-School on Wednesday night, and for grand old time with Oldest-and-Best on Friday.

I am thankful for our cute new apartment and our very new family.

I am thankful for free cable which hasn't shut off in the four months since we moved in despite the lack of bill.

I am thankful that I will get to be with my whole gorgeous family on Thursday (except Dos who is enjoying her semester in Rome and will be dancing on a bar somewhere in Italy being luminous and living the dream).

I am thankful for Daveroo. Who basically a year ago was still just this guy and is now my husband. Which still seems like a big scary weighted word but I'm working on it.

Picture of last Thanksgiving, my brother with Susie.

Turkey

2010-11-17T12:39:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving. We had some difficulties with David's family immediately before the wedding. One of David's family members tried to get him to nix the idea of marrying me and when that didn't work as well as she might have hoped, shit went down. A lot of it. There were tears and feelings were hurt. I tried to be cool about it and rise above it all but when you arrive at your bridal shower with a puffy, red, streaky face then you have a problem. We got married on a Saturday and that Thursday we packed up and moved to North Carolina, I've seen David's entire family (sisters, brothers, in-laws, nieces and nephews and parents) once since we got married which was nice (seeing them, not the only once aspect). Now we're trying to negotiate our first major holiday together. Which set of parents do we spend the day with? When do you see the second set of parents? How does one you tell your mother that you aren't spending Christmas with her? (luckily that someone is not me) How do you not hurt more feelings? This is difficult even with perfect relationships (as if those exist). My oldest and best friend (who basically could not like her in laws more and who's husband lurves her parents) think it's a suckfest. Trying to do it when your sister in law would probably like to devour your face and serve you up instead of a turkey? Reaaaaaally a suckfest.

At least any holidays not spent with my sweet and lovin' family will be spent with David's (now my) nephew, Ian, who has yummy cheeks for biting and cute tiny toes even if his mom is a mega b-word. The face he is making is the face my brain makes when I contemplate Thanksgiving.

Picture of Ian at our wedding, taken by Shaun Yasaki.

Painting

2010-11-15T10:36:00.000-08:00

Accord to Sherwin Williams this is what my bathroom would look like if painted 'peppercorn'. David thinks it's totes hideous. I think he's mostly deranged but I like him anyway. What do we think?

Hint

2010-11-12T20:30:00.000-08:00

Just in case anyone who's name is David would like to know about a nice present for me for Christmas which is my most favourite time of the year. I think this is real pretty. Just sayin.

New Weddings

2010-11-10T21:00:00.000-08:00

My lovely lovely cousin is getting married in January at this lovely house in the freezy breezy Highlands of Scotland and, this time, I get to be a bridesmaid. I've never been one before and I'm thrilled to the teeth.

Some Things....

2010-11-10T17:25:00.000-08:00

....I really like about being married, three months in.

Now that we are married, David makes me tea every single morning and every single evening and sometimes he peels my oranges for me. He used to do it sometimes but now he does it all the time.

Now that we are married, I can tell David I really hate his new haircut and he doesn't mind that much because I'm not going anywhere.

Now that we are married, when my dog nearly died and David went with me and my arms full of westie and wool tartan blanket and my red, puffy, sobby face to the vet and didn't say anything about it when I cried really loud and ugly in front of all the vet people.

Now that we are married, we have our money, and our dogs and our cat and our flat and our car and our computer and our bed and our dinner and our lives. Which is much easier than having to mind your own life and car and flat and dog and computer and bed and dinner and money. Much much easier.

P.S. The dog has been in the doggie hospital for two days and while for normal people this might not cause heaps of sobbing and ghashing of teeth and sleepless nights, for me this is it. So send Susie happy thoughts.

BRB

2010-09-28T18:47:00.001-07:00

I'll be back soon, don't go away. I just moved and am looking for a job and drinking lots of tea and every now and then screaming at my husband and throwing things. Because it's a bit hard right now.

A Brief Aside

2010-09-20T08:44:00.001-07:00

I am not one of those cool girls who never wanted to wear a white dress and didn't think about weddings. This is the evidence. I wore this for a whole year.

P.S. Dear Four-Year-Old-Hannah: I want yo shoes. Love, Twenty-Four-Year-Old-Hannah

Let Them Eat

2010-09-07T06:55:00.000-07:00

The cake came from our friendly neighborhood farmer's market cupcake lady. She made the cake, dropped it off with Meghan-the-day-of-coordinator and then at the last minute we decided that my little tiny peg people should go on the regular cake. Because I'm crafty darn it. Crafty. She also arranged some extra flowers around it. My youngest sister at it for breakfast every day for a week after the wedding. It was so unbelievably delicious. I remember reading somewhere on APW about a couple who served cake to everyone and we hadn't really thought about who was going to serve the cake so I ended up doing it. Which gave me a chance to speak to everyone who wanted cake and made me feel like a real hostess, I loved it. I also managed to resist feeding David cake. Which. I. Did. Not. Want. To. Do.

Feeding cake to my sister-in-law, which I did want to do. Please ignore my double chin.

If anyone in Western or Central Maryland or South Central PA wants a fantastic farmers market cake tasting like magic, shoot me an email and I will hook you up. I have all the hook-ups.

All photos by Shaun Yasaki

Snap Dragons and Lavender

2010-09-02T06:58:00.000-07:00

Way back in the pre-engaged engaged phase where we were getting married but he hadn't asked and I was scouring the interwebs looking for beautiful things I decided that if Meg and Peonies could do their own flowers than so could I. I found a DC area floral warehouse, ordered online and Friday morning Dad and my sister Jessie (yeah, I have three sisters, and a brother, there are a lot of us floating around) went to pick them all. My favourite flowers are snapdragons and I basically took the two colours of snapdragons that the warehouse had and then picked six other things in basically the same colours, a tiny bit of greenery and some berries and that was that.

I had been saving jars upon jars to pour the candles into and we used the rest for the centerpieces. None of them looked the same and we all just kind of went for it. People advised me to do a test run but I was poor and lazy (and still am) so I just decided to go for it when the flowers arrived and we did.

Gorgeous bridesmaids and sister put together flower arrangements

We arranged all the flowers in buckets and cookers and two of my bridesmaids, my Oldest-and-Best-Friend who DIYed her flowers in December and my sisters and I went to town. We made our own bouquets just sort of gathering them up and handing them off and that veteran friend wrapped the bouquets with floral tape and navy ribbon (something blue!)

Littlest sister rocks the hell out of flower arrangements

Maid of honor turned out to be florist extraordinaire

Now for the specifics: I kept looking for these when I was planning and I couldn't really find much. I had 400 stems, and spent less than $500 and we had SO many flowers. There were six bridesmaids bouquets, my bouquet, two little flower girl bouquets, twenty-table arrangements, four alter arrangements and heaps and heaps left over. We filled every vase in my parents house and there were flowers everywhere. It took a lot longer than I might have anticipated, there were seven of us and it took several hours to sort everything out. And the mess. There was a really big mess. My dad got the job of carrying all the stems and leaves to the compost bin.

A Bit of DIY, A Bit of DIT

2010-08-31T10:26:00.000-07:00

SO. I figured it was time for some official photos and some round-up sort of things. I thought I would start with some of our many many do-it-yourself or do-it-together projects. Our wedding got very very DIY. My bridesmaids and I did the flowers, David and his groomsmen steamed the linens and cleaned the barn, my mother and sisters did a hundred little DIY projects and my uncle and my mother's cousin together painted the farm sign the morning of the wedding, we hung all the lights, my sister wrote the place-cards. Our wedding was not just something we picked-out and put together, our wedding was something that we built, that our families built. I wore a flower in my hair my friend from college made for me, I carried a bouquet wrapped by my Oldest-and-Best-Friend, our wedding felt like something we had spirited out of nothingness. To show you every single one of our do-it-yourself projects or do-it-together projects would take days, but here are some of my favourites.

The wedding was held in the barn on the farm my family my family bought my freshman year of highschool. There is a room in the barn that The-Oldest-and-Best-Friend and I painted and cleaned out to use as a fort and my little sister later took it over and painted it lime green. I lived in the house on the farm by myself when David and I met. The barn was full of hay and pigeons and David spent hours and days and hours pulling hay out of it and spraying it down and trying to get rid of the pigeons and keep them out. It was his full-time job for most of June and July.

I ordered two reams of tissue paper online (shipping that stuff costs a fortune) and my sisters and a few adorable friends spent many a random episode of Bones making those Martha Stewart Pom-Poms that every single other bride seems to have at her wedding. We made what felt like thousand but we barely had enough, I loved the way the antique white looked against the barn, we had them hanging over the wedding cake and over the band (which was my brother's band, they are totes stellar, listen to their music, buy their cd).

These sparklers don't really count as diy but I put them in a jar and wrote a tag and they were the best wedding exit ever. Yeah, EVER.

This freezer was in the bottom of the barn the entire time I lived there. My little sister did some serious disinfecting while leaving the rust intact. I wanted rust. My friend Meghan who was my day-of-coordinator propped it open and we filled it with glass bottle cokes and Perrier (dear Sam's Club, I love you). The bar ended up right next to it.

I was planning on making a ring pillow for the boys to carry but three days before the wedding that wasn't done and I was planning on having them just march up the isle. My mom offered to make a ring bowl and boy did she ever. Mummie is the single greatest boss of paper mache and rocked the hell out of this wee bowl. My sister Ellen (Tres) painted our initials and the date one it as well as the gold ring.

Ellen also wrote ninety names on these old fashioned mailing tags and she and my dad wrapped them around the napkins we got at Sams Club. I poured 90 candles using soy wax. I bought fifty pounds of the stuff online (here) and had everyone I know saving jars for me. I used all 50 pounds. There are now candles EVERYWHERE at the house.

My bridesmaid Christina apparently burnt herself a lot and frank most of a box of Franz while making these babies but they looked GORGEOUS. I was moaning about not knowing what to put in our hair and she told me she had it and she did. She made one for each of the bridesmaids and I considered it evidence of the excellent time they all had after I left when I found two in my parents pool the next morning.

I got the idea to use a chalkboard for a seating chart ages ago and my 13 year old sister, Fiona, jumped on it. She found the frame for $3 at a garage sale and she primed, painted it, bit of chalkboard paint, bit of wood, wood glue and some nails. She's the bomb.com My sister Ellen then used chalkboard pens to write the seating chart on it. Right now it's waiting to be put on the wall of our new apartment in Durham. I can't quite bring myself to erase the names of everyone who was there with us. Lovely lovely lovely.

Photos by Shaun Yasaki and my sister Ellen

More to Come

2010-08-13T12:30:00.000-07:00

I promise that this isn't the end of the wedding blog. We are just moving and David's in one place working and sleeping on someone's couch and I am in another place, sleeping in my girlhood bedroom in my parents house surrounded by boxes and three other siblings who are all going back to school and my muddy wedding dress. There will be more pretty pictures and details and all that. Being married is weird. It is not like not being married. Even though everyone else said it was. My soul feels different, which I didn't expect. And I'm still getting used to. More on all this later.

Three Weeks On

2010-08-07T13:27:00.001-07:00

The photographer posted pictures today and there are some unexpectedly lovely pictures. Amelia laughing at the reception, me not looking like a mobster's wife, the church packed to the gills with lovely, loved people. Shaun did a good job.

All photos of course by Shaun Yasaki

Our Wedding Also Looked Like This

2010-07-20T11:43:00.000-07:00

Wed

2010-07-20T09:34:00.000-07:00

It was a fanf*ckngtastic wedding. I looked like this. There are more pictures. For later. We're moving to North Carolina tomorrow and I am tired, and have bug bites on my eye lids and have bronchitis. But the wedding? Luminous.

P.S.

2010-07-16T07:50:00.001-07:00

And as for Zen? It's kind of real. So weary that I don't really care all the much that my ATM card won't give me anymore money for the bartender and organist or that the plumber my mom called to replace the jank looking downstairs bathroom faucet actually just ripped the whole thing out and it's sitting on the lawn and the downstairs bathroom is non-functional is not reaaaaaaaaallly what I would have called zen. I'm not at peace. I'm calm like a serial killer is calm.

Wedding.

2010-07-16T07:43:00.000-07:00

Is tomorrow. I know it's not really done to post during your wedding weekend but there is a moment of quiet. Dad and Sister Dos went to pick up flowers, Mummie is taking the dogs to the kennels and picking up the CSA and Sisters Tres and Cuatro went to pick arms loads of Queen Anne's Lace to fill in bouquets. Brother and his bandmates are still en route and non of the bridesmaids or friends has shown up yet. David is hungover somewhere in bed after bachelor party. Susie, the prettiest bridal dog in town, is on my feet. We are tired. All of us. We want things to get rolling. This getting married business is scary but my favourite thing ever gleaned from Meg is the Jewish Proverb that has been in my facebook favourite quotes (mock, I don't care) for like a year:

“The entire world is a very narrow bridge
And the essential thing is not to succumb to fear.”

2 Days

2010-07-15T18:55:00.000-07:00

From right now I will be driving to the inn and it will all be over. There is a little zen now.

Did Anyone Else Hear This?

2010-07-09T09:43:00.001-07:00

I heard this article on NPR this morning while making about Not Getting Married. Becoming domestic partners rather than getting married. One guy said "marriage is the big commitment, let's not ruin anything" which reminds me of Meg's post yesterday. For me I think the best thing about having made the decision to get married is that we've decided to be together forever. So whether or not we ruin anything, we're in it. Which is kind of the point. Hmmm.

Apres

2010-07-07T17:44:00.001-07:00

This is my fantasy right now so much.

I loved when Ten Thousand Only just kind of disappeared after getting married. I had Doux before but have left it in Mary's hands completely since getting engaged. Because you know. I'm a monstrous engaged disaster. Well with ten days until the wedding I'm really looking forward to a real life again.

The Loveliest Kitchen

2010-07-05T20:37:00.000-07:00

Because fortunately we won't be engaged forever. Via Design Sponge

Mini-Moon

2010-07-02T14:33:00.000-07:00

We just booked our mini-cabin (MD parks department's term, not mine) for three nights right after our wedding here. We'll have a firepit, and a picnic table and a one room cabin with one double bed and an outlet, and a lake and a cooler filled with beer and s'mores and we'll arrive in our new groovy city of Durham a week after our wedding tan and sunburned and sleepy a week after our wedding. I couldn't be more chuffed with us.

Also: Today we bought Perrier in little glass bottles and glass bottle Cokes and big bottles of Pelagrino for yummy wedding yum yums. Now if I can drag our enormous old '60s freezer out of the basement of the barn and clean it off..... Oh yeah. And OUR MARRIAGE LICENSE was gotten today. HOLLER.

We Are Making Candles

2010-06-25T21:56:00.000-07:00

Because we cannot make sisters-in-law love me, and we cannot make more money and we cannot make time move more slowly. I have made 40 of these buggers with a 50lb bag of soy wax and have only about 40 more to make. Our papel picado arrived, and our bistro lights, and David is power washing my parents barn tomorrow, and I am putting in my 2 weeks notice at my soul crushing job and I am packing the glasses and frying pans and bowls that people who love us have given us, and I am packing the painting of the street my grandmother lived on in Connecticut in 1963 and the table cloth my parents bought for their wedding in their apartment in 1979. I am sewing a comb onto my grandmother's veil so I can wear it. I am cudding my dog and cat a lot. I am wrapping people I love around my like a wool blanket and drinking lots of tea. I sunburned my nose today in the pool. Three weeks from tomorrow.

3.5 Weeks

2010-06-23T07:36:00.001-07:00

Things have been rough in wedding land. Like crying for two hours on the morning of the bridal shower because my fsil doesn't want David to marry me rough. Like some people didn't show up when my parents invited his family over for dinner so they could meet because those people were angry about stupid things rough, Like, throwing up at work because I'm so nervous rough.

This past weekend we had Bridal Shower, bachelorette party, my dad moved into his new apartment in the city, my mom tried to unpack the entire country house because everyone moved back, we did meet the parents, we learned that David is starting a new job hundreds of miles away before the wedding, we learned that I was going to have to quit my job immediately, we learned that David's sister hates me more than anything and doesn't want us to get married, we learned that we don't have enough money to pay for the wedding.

Things have been kind of rough.

Mexican Wedding Flags For Me Please

2010-06-13T21:59:00.000-07:00

I want these, so hard.

I love

2010-06-07T15:31:00.001-07:00

These flowers so much my eyes hurt.

Invitations

2010-06-03T12:46:00.000-07:00

Today my first batch of RSVP cards came in. We got the gorg Paper Source Invitations and my gorgous best friend Mary did the calligraphy. Because the paper source RSVPs were the same price again as the invitation, and I am very poor I found the botanical print of a peony and hacked it down and had it printed by a local printer as a postcard, tied them to the invites with very very thin grey wool from my parents sheep (so basically free, hip and organic but mostly free). I also gave in to the mad multi-stamp craze. I know I'm biased but I think they are they are the most beautiful invitations anyone ever had. Just saying.

David Gets Pants

2010-06-03T12:40:00.000-07:00

Mini David that is. The tie is just a stand in until we decide what colour ties the real guys will be wearing. Fruit cake here they come.

Zen

2010-06-02T22:57:00.000-07:00

According to everyone I am about 43 days away from Wedding Zen (wedding is 44 days away) and while I am looking forward to that I would also really really be into Wedding Sleep, or even Wedding Mellow-Morning. I am really over Wedding-it's-two-in-the-morning-and-I-can't-sleep-because-of-all-the-twitchy-things-in-my-mind-and-the-12-coffees-out-of-an-instant-coffee-machine-I-had-today-at-work-in-order-to-make-up-for-not-sleeping-at-all-last-night-because-I-was-twitchy-then-too-and-eff-my-life-I'm-moving-tomorrow.

Yep. F*ck zen, I just wanna sleep.

And Again

2010-06-02T21:15:00.000-07:00

P.S.

2010-06-02T21:11:00.000-07:00

Can we make it look like this?

HELP HELP HELP!

2010-06-02T20:44:00.000-07:00

What am I going to do for centerpieces? This is the colour of the linens (I know the setting is super fug) and I want some colour and some wild flowers and some ideas. Anybody? Seriously. It's a stresser. Almost as much of a stresser as all the trees around the barn we're getting married in being cut down and finding out that David thinks the barn is jank. Six. Weeks. Before. We. Get. Married.

Showers, This Time For Me

2010-06-02T15:00:00.000-07:00

I have been led to believe that a rather groovey bridal shower is heading my way, I hear tell of invitations and occasionally someone pops up to tell me to reserve a certain day and then I hear nothing else. Last year I broke down and bought the most lovely skirt in the whole world and would like to know if it would be suitable for me to wear to this shower (I've never been to one, I had a mental health day the day of Oldest-and-Bests and no one else has gotten married, I'm the first). So if a charming Biddy (you know who you are, Mary, High-School-Bestie, Sisters Dos, Tres and Cuatro) would like to tell me if this is suitable that would be lovely. And if a charming anyone would like to build an outfit around this skirt I would give them lots and lots and lots of hugs (or a guest-post?). K. Thanks.

Accessories, Follow-Up

2010-06-02T12:40:00.000-07:00

Remember this? I know, YUM. It's on sale for half price. And I know I don't need a bag (I'm not going to carry it anywhere, and my dress has POCKETS, for eff's sake) but it's half price. And it's effing BEAUTIFUL.

Then there were these which I bought, and am going to try with the dress on Saturday when not one, not two but THREE of my sisters are coming with me to my dress fitting. Aren't I a lucky duck!

Flowers, Veil, Hair

2010-06-01T21:36:00.000-07:00

I don't remember where I knicked this off the interwebs but oh oh oh I so love it, It's kind of rocking my hair inspiration in a major way right now. I've been fantasizing recently about yards of tulle my grandmother wore in a crazy headpiece, wearing it tucked up underneath a curly bun for the ceremony and then just the flower during the reception. What do we's think?

Boooo

2010-06-01T06:35:00.001-07:00

The computer is dead dead dead, hopefully due to a dead power cord, so I am using my mother-in-laws (I will not say FMIL, it's silly) and David is apparently driving an hour to Columbia to get the laptop and cord examined by a professional (living in rural Maryland sucks a lot). In the meantime, I am incommunicado.

Goings On

2010-05-24T05:15:00.000-07:00

I know it looks as though weddings have not been progressing but really I'm just a bad bad lazy blogger. Recently in the wonderful world of weddings we have wrapped groomsmen's gifts in brown paper and tied them with string, we have gotten our hair sorted, had a third dress fitting, gotten our gorgeo envelopes back from our gorgeo calligrapher (photos will follow, I promise) and various other crafts which for now are top secret. More deets to come.

Shower

2010-05-18T20:42:00.000-07:00

Today I was at the salon for five hours after work, getting hot. I am now hotter than I was before. While I was at the salon, the women who work with David threw him a bridal shower. Yeah, a bridal shower. He's a teacher and since one of the young female teachers is getting married as well the faculty thought that they should throw a joint shower. Wowsers.

Sleepy Bride

2010-05-13T04:36:00.000-07:00

Normal people go on diets and star rubbing De La Mere into their skin like no one's business and they take hydration RATHER seriously. No me. I have basically stopped showering, an extra half hour of sleep will always beat a shower. My legs are insanely hairy, I am breaking out and I am subsisting primarily on Pop-Tarts and salt and vinegar chips. Why am I blogging if I am too busy/sleepy to shower? Because I can do it from bed, if I could shower from bed, I might do that.

In the meantime, I made this peg doll Hannah. It's going to be on a mini Scottish fruit cake. I KNOW. I have a half made peg doll David but suits are a mite harder to make than wedding dresses for peg people.

Hemorrhage

2010-05-10T19:46:00.001-07:00

Of money. Getting married kinda doesn't feel so good sometimes. Like after buying all the groomsmen's gifts, and the tissue paper for the pom poms and wedding earrings and the rest of the rentals. I was going to buy a veil but quite honestly there is a trip to Massachusetts coming up this weekend and some unexpected expenses and I just can't hack it. Veils will be left for another day.

Vail via David's bridal, I am not getting a David's bridal veil.

Presents

2010-05-02T07:23:00.000-07:00

Even though you get to pick a fair amount of your own presents when you get married it's still so exciting when they start arriving. My uncle in Germany sent us this Martha Bowl and someone's gone and bought the nicest cake stand (but it hasn't arrived yet so I don't know who). I get all surprised and giggly about the presents. It's nice to get the things that are going to make our home, we dont have a fruit bowl, we don't have a cake stand, we don't have forks and knives and glasses so the wedding gifts are, as Meg has said, a barn raising.

Flower Girls

2010-04-28T15:04:00.000-07:00

Are wearing these dresses. They came and look lovely. And THAT is all we will say about THAT.

Dumb dumb dumb Hannah

2010-04-23T21:52:00.000-07:00

It's almost one am on Saturday, in nine hours I am suppose to be at a bridal salon an hour away, I do not have the number or address of this bridal salon. My wedding co-ordinator does. She is asleep. Like normal people. This salon just moved so the google doesn't have their info. I should have been more together about this. At least I remembered to put my Spanx in my overnight bag before heading to my parents' summer house to spend the night? Eff.

P.S.

2010-04-22T19:08:00.001-07:00

RSVP cards make me want to punch a baby. Miss Manners and Emily Post all say that people can damn well tell me if they are coming of not. Paper Source says that RSVP cards cost as much as invitations plus stamps plus envelopes. I say that people can reply by email or phone for f*cksake. I might get over this.

Invitations

2010-04-22T14:35:00.000-07:00

The invitations are unbelievably beautiful. I cheaped out and had them flat printed, I nearly had a major emotional breakdown at the thought of trying to get a printer not to bugger them up if I designed them myself so I succumbed to the lovely of Paper Source and they are everything I wanted.

I am also in an intensive six-week training course for my new job which I hate, both the training and the job. So I've kind of disappeared but I'll be back. I promise.

This is what love is

2010-04-14T17:07:00.000-07:00

Today was my third day at my new job and my first day in a six week training course which will teach me to be the girl who calls you when you use your credit card in Spain and says "excuse me, are you in Spain? No? Alright, your card's been nicked." So not a good day. And then there was taxes. Which were not as nice as we might have liked them to be. And then there was a meeting with a caterer who talked to be about table skirts and risers stupid stupid drapings and flowings and faffings with fabric and I just wanted to DIE. And I'm surfing the crimson wave (thank you Alicia). David just called me from the liquor store and told me he's picking me up a milkshake and fries and do I want chicken nuggets too? Because love is beer and drive-thru McDonalds for your whiny girlfriend. Yep. It is. I know you wondered.

I Wish...

2010-04-13T15:11:00.001-07:00

That it were July 19th and that the wedding has all through and done with and that David and I were here. New job is a little scary and I wish we were done with this phase.

Platforms

2010-04-05T06:41:00.000-07:00

Tacey Ruffle Platform Sandal, $19.99

Peep Toe Platform, $41.95

Erlia Peep-Toe Platform Sandal, $63.29

Just a thought.

A Brief Update/In Defense of Crafts

2010-04-03T14:55:00.000-07:00

Not as much packing has gotten done as one might like at my mum and dad's house but I set about using my mother's tiny craft drill to make peg doll Hannah and peg doll David. Some people I really respect in the wedding bloggy universe are pretty anti craft/anti DIY. If you are not a DIY person then getting really really into making peg people in the months leading up to your wedding seems like a really bad idea. If you are, in general, a super insane crafty maniac (I made tulle flower hairclips and glued feathers onto bobby-pins and make pushpins and magnets and paper cranes like no one's business) then it makes sense to craft like usual for your wedding. Which is a long winded explanation of why I am making these. Also because I don't have an extra $135 for the real thing.

I'm not posting a how-to because they aren't my idea and you can kind of figure it out if you need to. I'm kind of figuring it out as I go. When they're though I'll post pictures. The littlest sister found a three dollar frame and an estate sale and is painting it white for a chalkboard. We haven't yet done the chalkboard painting. We'll see how that goes.

A Week Off

2010-03-29T21:49:00.000-07:00

I am spending this week at home with my parents and brother and sisters and Susie. They are moving and there is packing to be done and painting to be done and a house to get ready for 'THE MARKET' I will continue to have nervous breakdowns about things like response cards next week. Or maybe the week after.

Table Numbers

2010-03-26T14:00:00.000-07:00

I was worried. I'm not now. These are perfect. And I'm not worrying about it anymore.

Table Numbers by the very clever Olivia Kanaley

Inspiration Board: Our Barn Wedding

2010-03-25T14:51:00.001-07:00

This is the inspiration for our barn wedding. Yum.

Garlands and Poufs

2010-03-25T13:41:00.000-07:00

I am having the Martha Stewart Pom Poms, there are rafters, they are very high up, they beg for pom poms. Can I have these too? Where should I put them? My wedding planner is really going to be a victim.

WANT

2010-03-25T13:15:00.000-07:00

These shoes so bad my teeth hurt.

THEY HURT I TELL YOU. And in my size, dude. On sale and IN MY SIZE.

J. Crew (again, f'cking Jenna) Blume Metallic Leather Peep Toes, dipped in magic and sprinkled with fairy dust, $165.00

Jenna: My Love, My Hate

2010-03-25T08:25:00.000-07:00

WHY does she torment me so? So lovely. And yet so obvious and cliched and annoyingly corporate. Those are the sorts of flowers I want at my wedding. In those sorts of colours. I'm a bit scared of these flowers. It all seems a bit scary.

Bouttonnieres

2010-03-25T05:58:00.000-07:00

We are not doing bouttonnieres, David doesn't want flowers on him ("I'm not a woman") and they sound like effort and we are all about expending effort only where effort is needed (we're self catering, self floristing, it's going to be nuts). Eight bouquets for the seven bridesmaides and me and tiny tiny little bouquets for the flower girls (like TINY). These bouttonnieres are so unbelievably pretty though, so pretty. Maybe I could make little nosegays for the nieces inspired by these?

Via Once Wed

Rings

2010-03-23T08:23:00.000-07:00

So these rock the socks off my feet.

Dolls, Pin

2010-03-23T06:46:00.001-07:00

These are the kind of Clothespin Dolls my Mummie made. Maybe they would look as groovy on a fruit cake?

Whelmed.

2010-03-23T05:07:00.000-07:00

Overwhelmed with the expense of this and the things I have to get done, under under underwhelmed at the options. These are the chairs I have to contend with. I was going to have white table cloths and make the napkins but isn't that a lot of white. Like a huge scary amount of white? I'm also kind of sick of it too. I might have reached my own form of wedding zen which is more like wedding give-up-it-doesn't-matter-what-gets-done-gets-done-and-what-doesn't-doesn't-matter. That is just this morning. I'm sure tomorrow I'll be back to caring.

P.S. There is a picture here that looks like maybe Meg had those chairs. I'm going to pretend that she did. Yep. Not because I want to have what everyone else had, I just want to see that they can turn out pretty.

I Die

2010-03-19T10:39:00.000-07:00

These kill me. I want them for my little Scottish fruit cake. Screw grooms cake, we're having an US cake and then a wee Bride's Cake. When I was little my Mummie made me whole sets of clothespin dolls, all the characters from Peter Pan (Peter, Wendy, Michael, John, Smee, Captain Hook, various lost boys, Mermaids) and all the characters from The Little Mermaid (ALL OF THEM) it was fantastic. I kind of want my Mummie to make me a tiny David and a tiny Hannah for the top of my Scottish cake. Maybe she has time? How do they make those fantastic big heads? That's what I wants to know.

These ones are not made by Mum, these are gorgeously and expensively made by The Small Object

More Purple Flowers

2010-03-18T11:42:00.000-07:00

The Save the Dates are a little busted. I am remembering that actually this doesn't matter. It really doesn't. Invitations though, they might actually matter. But the Save the Dates don't. Right?

Lets look at these purple flowers and pretend there are no save the dates.

Yum

2010-03-17T08:48:00.000-07:00

This bridal shower has cupcakes in jars. Seriously. I wanna be Ruby sometimes.

Rehearsal: Now With Seersucker In Mind

2010-03-16T08:03:00.000-07:00

Suzi Chin Yellow Loveliness, $158.00

Calvin Klein Sash Dress, $129.00

Cotton Blakely Dress, $118.00

Silk Tie-Dye Dress, $110.00

Getting Stuff DONE

2010-03-16T06:07:00.000-07:00

This weekend was a wedding weekend to be reckoned with. We registered together once, I registered again by myself, we got not one but two suits and we sorted out our wedding cake. We also cried a couple of times because the caterer will not get back to me, and the printer messed up the save the dates twice.

First off, Macy's. Is. Awesome. We had a fantastic Registry Lady called Brenda who faffed around with us and was there if we wanted her and not if we didn't and when I couldn't find enough Botanical Garden Serveware (Dave doesn't like it so we can't get a whole set, boooo) she went online after we left and found a bunch and emailed me links. Because she's lovely. And there were not boxes piled to the ceiling and the scanners worked really well and there wasn't too much stuff but there is just enough stuff. If you are in the DC area you should go to Macy's in the Tysons Corner Center. Ask for Brenda. She's a treat. The next day I registered alone at Target because we wanted a carafe and shocking as it sounds, we couldn't find one we liked at Macy's. Plus I was there anyway trying on this. It was okay. No complaints. It just wasn't as AWESOME as Macy's.

Apres Macy's while wandering around in Tysons we wandered into the Crewzels. Of course we did. Like moths to a flame. We couldn't help ourselves. We bought not one but two suits (although with the twenty percent off for starting a card which we have already paid off and canceled it wasn't as bad as it could have been). So now Davey's gonna look super stellar. Seersucker for the rehearsal (if you find me a super cool rehearsal dinner dress I'll buy you beer) and a real suit for the wedding (and also for job interviews and maybe work, I am justifying).

We also sorted out the cake this weekend. The Cupcake Lady of farmers market fame (she's out of her mind and has 16 cats and makes crazy delicious, beautiful cupcakes that she sells out of her garage) is making our cake. For very little money. It's going to be chocolate with creamy non-fondant frosting (because seriously, fondant isn't yummery and yummery is important). I am very excited about this cake. Cupcake Lady rocks.

Rearranging

2010-03-15T07:54:00.000-07:00

We spent about three hours in J. Crew yesterday picking out not one but two suits for David, who has decided to wear a seersucker suit to the rehearsal (we are also now having a Kentucky Derby party in May because he bought the suit and eff if he isn't going to wear it). I was foot stomping mad by the time we left because I didn't look cute in anything (which is always bad bad bad for one's self esteem) and the store was so busy and the salesman talked a lot (and I was running on five hours of sleep for the past two nights and hadn't gotten a treat coffee yet) but I saw these shoes and thought that maybe what I want to do is have my dress hemmed and wear sandals. Comfy comfy sandals. With my summer silly dress. Then my feet won't hurt at all.

Or more realistically I should just get these for the day after brunch.

J. Crew Reese Gladiator Sandals, $88.00

P.S. Yeah, Jenna Lyons and J Crew are basically dressing EVERY single person at our wedding. It's unpleasant but so so so beautiful. Sorry ESB.

Register, Part One

2010-03-13T08:01:00.000-08:00

Registering is something we don't really like to talk about. Unless it's to talk about our very mixed feelings, how we don't want to ASK for presents and how we don't really NEED anything except for the love of our guests. And that's true. I don't really want to ask for things and I really just want people to show up and bring with them their sweet faces and lots of hugs. But we do need things. David and I are both youngish and neither of us have the trappings of adult apartmenthood. I have a soup pot my uncle and aunt gave me and a pink non-stick wok which was a very bad impulse purchase at Marshalls. We do need stuff. We are starting out lives together and by buying us things from our registry our family and friends are literally helping us to build our home.

With this in mind we are registering for things that we can potentiall still have in fifteen years. So a handheld mixer? Not so much. A cool butterdish? Yes. Sure, we could drop the butterdish but it has the potential to live forever. We want to register for things that hopefully our children will grow up with (and believe you effing me, children are a long way off). Meg said it very well. Because, serious, she always does. "The registry is like a barn raising."

Yep.

So we registered once, at Bed Bath and Beyond. Which was a bad bad bad idea. David knew this. I would have too if I had a thought in my head that week (I started a new job and was tired and angry that the wedding wasn't getting planned for f sake). The ladies pretended to be my friends and followed us arround the store and nothing was what we wanted and we couldn't find anything and I started crying when we got into the car. It was awful. Trying to pick out which plates I wanted our children to drop and which roasting pan I wanted to put turkeys in for thanksgivings in fifteen years and which glasses I was going to use to get wasted during grad school, it was all a bit much. And Sandi, who was trying to tell me about how much better non-stick was (just to show that she really didn't agree with me on a single point), following me around trying to show me how to use the stun gunny thing really didn't help. So we're deleting the registry. Because I went insane and put a deep fat fryer on the list (breaks the rule in a big way). And we're starting afresh. Tomorrow at Macy's in the city. Where they have a lot of Portmeirion (because it looked banging in 1984 when my parents bought it, and it looked banging in 1996 when my youngest sister was born and it still looks banging and will look banging when my children start to break my collection piece by piece) and I'll have all day to register. And a latte. Next time I will bring a latte.

Oooh Ahhhh for Napkins

2010-03-12T15:48:00.000-08:00

Is it worth the extra $100 and millions of hours of labour to make 100 napkins out of this fantastically fantastic fabric? I could pick three or four or five colours and it would be so magnificent....

Digging, again

2010-03-12T09:18:00.000-08:00

This and these colours are definitely what we're going for.

Digging

2010-03-11T13:58:00.000-08:00

These. In a major way.

A Few Questions for YOU, dear reader

2010-03-11T05:08:00.000-08:00

1) Are sixty of these enough? Is it insane to make 120?

2) Where can I find unbelievable fabric to make cloth napkins? Unbelievable mind you. Or I might go head and make those insane pom pom napkin rings and I don't know if that's a good idea. Or is it?

3) What colours of flowers should I get? Keeping in mind that the ring bearers are wearing blue seersucker and the bridesmaids are wearing "thistle" and "spiced wine" and "graphite" but I don't want to just do cream and I don't like matchies. Matchies is baaaaaaaaad for Hannah.

Share your thoughts, I'm in need of some thoughts.

Guestbook, Photobook

2010-03-11T04:30:00.000-08:00

This photobook-guestbook idea was a really good one. I found a copy of my great-great-great grandmother's wedding portrait from 1866. Damn. Reading my great-grandmother's wedding announcement from the New York Times in 1911 and my parents from 1979 has been a very cool experience. Now to go through David's family photos...

My Soul Has Been Bought By Jenna Lyons

2010-03-09T05:54:00.000-08:00

Jenna Lyons is about six feet tall and has the best damn closet in the universe and I, like about a gazillion other brides in the universe, have given over my entire live and net worth to her. My mom is getting her dress for the wedding at J Crew too. Grey because she looks good in it with big fun bright jewelry. Yes puhlease. And we are looking at J Crew suits this weekend after registering (take two*) for David and I may or may not have bought an inappropriate amount of pretty things at J Crew the other day althoughtechnicallyIcannottellyouaboutthatbecauseofthelurkingofbridesmaids. So bridesmaids, bride, groom and mother of the bride all in J. Crew. Ms. Lyons you win again. Damn you.

Little Girls Part II

2010-03-08T07:03:00.000-08:00

So I waited too long to get those awesome dresses for my nieces. I was worried they would grow, we hadn't technically asked the girls to be flower girls etc. And now we are dressless, which is, I guess okay. We'll find something. But The Crewzles doesn't have anything I like right now for under $98 and I kind a feel like my filthy 6 year old niece doesn't need a $98 white dress right now. Ya know what I'm saying? And while I understand that Flora and Henri's children's clothes are fantastic there is no way they need anything costing nearly that much. How about a darling little day dress that will work with the colours for like not as much money? Like how about fiddy? Anyone have any great ideas about dresses for seven year olds? Who tend to be muddy and messy as little girls should be? Seriously peeps. Rock the comments.

Anyway, they won't care. The above photos is The Oldest-and-Best's kid sister as a flower girl in December. She was trouble. She is trouble. She liked her dress but she really liked being trouble.

Pearly Things

2010-03-08T07:02:00.000-08:00

Actually, remember this? I think I'd rather have these with no necklace. Yes please.

Would It Be Obscene...

2010-03-08T07:00:00.003-08:00

For me to wear this

with this?

Twin Hearts Photography

2010-03-07T12:52:00.000-08:00

When I saw these pictures from Twin Hearts Photography on APW yesterday I was instantly filled with regret about my move to Maryland/Pennsylvania from Mississippi (which is still pretty far from Georgia but not as far as I am now). Kellie Olsson and Laura Gregg take unbelievably gorgeous photos, photos that make me oooh and aaaah and feel very very okay with the kind of wedding we are having. If you are lucky enough to live within striking distance from Athens, Georgia, don't worry. I found your photographer for you. You're welcome.

And this? This makes me think I need engagement pictures. Even though I know that I don't.

All pictures courtesy of the super duper lovely Twin Hearts Photography ladies

Happy Friday

2010-03-05T15:57:00.000-08:00

This has been a rough week. A week with new jobs and scary people at those new jobs who lear and make us feel not safe. And there has been running around and stressing out and registering (which was bad, like really really bad but more on that later) and there has been another job interview and and a family dinner and a lot of very very serious conversations about The Future and Where We Are Going (figuratively and literally) and lots of job hunting and a fair amount of crying. But today the sun was shining a lot and I drove around with the sunroof open and some Cyndi on super loud and I came home to a lovely lovely big white box with a lovely lovely big white dress in which fits pretty well and just needs a minor minor alteration. And tomorrow I'm going for a walk in the park with David and maybe my blue windbreaker instead of a real coat. I think that maybe this necklace would be the best thing to wear with my wedding dress. Kate Szabone made my engagement ring and I think that the necklace would be lovely.

Gnashing of Teeth, Tearing of

2010-03-05T13:23:00.000-08:00

I have curly hair, Like really really really curly hair. Like BIG curly, nappy, kinky, fine, breakable, blond hair. I do not like other people doing my hair, I do not like doing my hair, I wear it in a bun every. single. day. Sometimes a high bun, sometimes a low bun, there is very very little variety in hair styles up in here. The Seventh Bridesmaid (third sister) who has the same kind of hair has said that La Portman (who I kinda hate, am I alone in this?) is the queen of updos we can handle. ScarJo (who I also kinda hate, this one time in college a girl told me repeatedly that I looked a lot like ScarJo and I just effing hated her for it) also seems to tragically be rockin' really banging wedding hair in some of these photos. Of course I really just wanna look like Heidi.

Hey guys,

2010-03-05T11:39:00.001-08:00

My wedding dress came. Eeeeep.

Having a Coke With You

2010-03-04T10:47:00.000-08:00

I think Joanna Goddard had it read at her wedding (maybe someone else?) and I think it's super lovely. I kinda wish we didn't have to have bible readings at mass so we could have this.

Having a Coke with you

is even more fun than going to San Sebastian, Irún, Hendaye, Biarritz, Bayonne
or being sick to my stomach on the Travesera de Gracia in Barcelona
partly because in your orange shirt you look like a better happier St. Sebastian
partly because of my love for you, partly because of your love for yoghurt
partly because of the fluoresent orange tulips around the birches
partly because of the secrecy our smiles take on before people and statuary
it is hard to believe when I'm with you that there can be anything as still
as solemn as unpleasantly definitive as statuary when right in front of it
in the warm New York 4 o'clock light we are drifting back and forth
between each other like a tree breathing through its spectacles

and the portrait show seems to have no faces in it at all, just paint
you suddenly wonder why in the world anyone ever did them
I look
at you and I would rather look at you than all the portraits in the world
except possibly for the Polish Rider occasionally and anyway it's in the Frick
which thank heavens you haven't gone to yet so we can go together the first time
and the fact that you move so beautifully more or less takes care of Futurism
just as at home I never think of the Nude Descending a Staircase or
at a rehearsal a single drawing of Leonardo or Michelangelo that used to wow me
and what good does all the research of the Impressionists do them
when they never got the right person to stand near the tree when the sun sank
or for that matter Marino Marini when he didn't pick the rider as carefully
as the horse

it seems they were all cheated of some marvellous experience
which is not going to go wasted on me which is why I am telling you about it

-Frank O'Hara

We Can Make This, Right?

2010-03-04T08:10:00.000-08:00

Because it's quite lovely. And I am feeling a little gross (Dear Self: do not eat donuts. You gave up sugar for lent. Also: Donuts make you feel not so awesome) so the idea of being able to make something quite so lovely makes me feel really really nice.

You know what else makes me feel nice? This fantastic $5,000 wedding. Yep. Five grand.

Now I'm going back to working. Or rather sitting at work not working. Since there is no work to be done.

New Job

2010-03-03T11:31:00.000-08:00

I have a job. I am there now. It's the kind of job where you can kind of fiddle around doing nothing. For hours. I work behind the desk at a not not not very nice hotel. I smell like smoke and sorrow and my feet hurt but a jobs a job and minimum wage is better than nothing (I told myself through my tears on my way to work this morning). So I'm not making crafty things. I wish I were. Someone else will have to make me this.

Grandma

2010-02-28T20:20:00.001-08:00

Isn't she gorge? I wonder if it's possible to get a tiny bit of that veil made into a banging birdcage?

Lovely Things

2010-02-26T20:35:00.000-08:00

Or maybe for the rehearsal any of these luminous things.

A) Traversing Dress, $148.00

B) Beda Dress, $118.00

C) New York New York Dress, $168.00